He made the glow in the dark stars move for the first time. For people to have created fairy tales, they must have existed at one point in time. Even in the vivid scenario of our mind, it happened. Sleep deprived as ever, things that would normally not entertain even a moments consideration come to the foreground, and everything that should be present like music, work, friends, people. Nope those don't really stick.
Brain feeling too heavy, must weigh it down with some pointless tears. Thats what happens when you're sleepy, you react too violently to, for example the fact that the window is still overlooking a wall, or that the Chopin is cutting your heart into little pieces...
would you like a little piece mr blatantly chirpy sunshine?
would you, mr gloomy room with no air or light?
I think you should share, half half, and then we would all have a tea party. No mad hatters though because that would invite some curiously interesting people. We wouldn't want that. Why would we ever want to invite something extraordinary into our lives? That would just break a routine, that would force us to search for new ways, to use our mind, to emote, to feel feelings we have never before felt.
I feel that one day, the most beautiful sentence in the world will be said. And i won't be there to hear it.
31.1.05
30.1.05
24.1.05
1 hour left to go
Well, its 1 hour before my classes start. My brain is so out of it from like 11 hours of sleep (time zones suck ass) that i'll be one lovely zombie in Italian class. All of my close friends are still stranded in random states because there is too much snow for even a bus to come here. I feel like i'm on an island and no one normal is ever going to come here to recue me :P Nah i exaggerate, i'm still as sanely insane as i always will be.
Two days ago, at dinner, there was a group of girls huddled around this one guy. Now you're thinking, huh a Guy in Smith College, and i'm responding, yes lots of them :'(. In any case this guy was telling a wildly amusing story about how he was mixed up with Laura Bush. now i'm thinking, the likelihood of this Laura being the real Laura vs my roommate Laura. Because from behind they have the same length of blonde wavey hair ( :S ). So anyways, i go up to him and all like, yo i'm Lauras roommate. All suave like. NOw this guy's name is Ezra and he looks like Jesus. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but lol listen to what comes next. So hes all like yeah you should really tell Laura to be more open about her opinions, and not to be afraid. Now on one level i'm like Yeah gooo opinions, but on another i'm like Huh, Laura be More opinionated?? So the next day we happen to meet again at brunch and we talk some more, and its not surprising he doesn't know where Belgium is, and he asks whether they speak english there ?!?! lol and then i realise that he has never been to college and been spending the last 2 years backpaking around Southern America... still no excuse :P:P So hes like this odd mixture of the zen master with complete airhead hippy aftertones. So he was supposed to call me yesterday to make snow people with a bunch of people, but sniff they forgot about me...i'll live.
Two days ago, at dinner, there was a group of girls huddled around this one guy. Now you're thinking, huh a Guy in Smith College, and i'm responding, yes lots of them :'(. In any case this guy was telling a wildly amusing story about how he was mixed up with Laura Bush. now i'm thinking, the likelihood of this Laura being the real Laura vs my roommate Laura. Because from behind they have the same length of blonde wavey hair ( :S ). So anyways, i go up to him and all like, yo i'm Lauras roommate. All suave like. NOw this guy's name is Ezra and he looks like Jesus. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but lol listen to what comes next. So hes all like yeah you should really tell Laura to be more open about her opinions, and not to be afraid. Now on one level i'm like Yeah gooo opinions, but on another i'm like Huh, Laura be More opinionated?? So the next day we happen to meet again at brunch and we talk some more, and its not surprising he doesn't know where Belgium is, and he asks whether they speak english there ?!?! lol and then i realise that he has never been to college and been spending the last 2 years backpaking around Southern America... still no excuse :P:P So hes like this odd mixture of the zen master with complete airhead hippy aftertones. So he was supposed to call me yesterday to make snow people with a bunch of people, but sniff they forgot about me...i'll live.
12.1.05
New Years and Geneva
1. New Years
After a good afternoon lolling around in my cousins' apartment, and watching part of another weird ass Kubrick movie, fluff myself up Sarah style (muy glitter et squeeze into those jeans u ain't got ur ass into since Summer) hop into car with cousin we shall hence forth be calling Stefan. Have a lovely heart to heart with him while noticing the curious amount of drempels in the country of Belgium.
Once at the abode of my uncle and aunt, giggle away like the little school girl that i am along with Tom and we totally make ourselves a lot more hyper than we should be for a scouts new years and a scouts prepared new years dinner. After Tom insists we shall not be fashionably late to a scouts party but be retardedly early, we gag him with a spoon throw him in the boot of the car and go there...fashionably early. The party is already *jumpin'* by the time we are there, and i am thrown into a room with 25 Flem scouts. It is a beautiful sight...all this youth intermingling with champagne glasses. They talk and i have no clue what their saying 95% of the time, but my dashing smile blinds them all into speaking english. Belgian ppl speaking english rocks. me speaking flemish is non existant :)
So we are seated at this long table and wait for food. EVERYONE smokes. not just cigarettes, but cigarillos and cigars. Tom decides that blowing cigar smoke in my hair is a funny thing. I sadly do not agree with this and accidentally hit his face a few times. There is a lot of cunning food throwing, playing with the candles and telling people that smoking is bad for them. I eat more than i should (!! i know) and add those extra 3 kilos to the resolutions list.
After that we all go back to the bar area and schmooze for a bit. We watch a bad countdown program on the telly and HAPPY NEW YEAR. then we haved to kiss everyone in the room; Everyone. And certain male scouts in the room kiss each other twice on the cheek and then once lightly on the lips, i find this weird. Then this one guy with heavy flem dialect asks me"soo what uur name lassiieee", me responding; "yEaaaahh".
*Soy uuun marinerooo, soooy un capitan*
SO, where was i? Oh yeah and the Tom gets bored. The eternal tom gets bored. So i decide to stay, because i've come here to get LAID :D (i'm kidding, honest, i am). So one of the scouts, kinda cute one really :), offers me a ride on his ...wait for it...moped, now this moped was like a super moped because it fit both his little ass and my massive one at the same time. 25 km an hour, helmetless, liscenceless down a pothole full coutry road at 2 in the morning Sarah realises " What the hell am i doing here". Admitedly i had gotten more tipsy along the night, had headbanged to Liquido for 3 minutes straight, i mean if that doesn't proove it what does :P The party was kinda lame and my semi drunken state all i wanted to do was kiss the dude. I did not do that because as they say in Lithuanian tradition *correct me if i'm wrong* whatever happens right at new years determines what the rest of the year will be like. I didn't want ti to be kissing 17 yr old scouts.
2. Geneva (tribute to those who were there)
A lot more lolling around, seeing people i honestly haven't seen for 3 monthes. It was scary how much i missed these people i had started to find too close for my comfort. Like the average Geneva group who went out every night in the Summer and the faces we'd all grown a little tired of seeing day after day, i was trying to suck in every last drop of their character facial expression and voice, because i miss my highschool friends so damn much. Even the most idiotic character in my life there, struck a special chord.
Seeing Yasi and having someone laugh over the same old stupid things i said was like aww. Seeing Bibi who i thought i had drifted away from a little was amazing because we suddenly had this crazy connection in sense of humor again. Seeing Marion who was my buddy through nearly yhe whole thing gave this odd chill because it was like woah man we've been through crazy much and you've stayed here while i'm in the US and i keep reminded myself the reasons why i left he familiar. Miss being really immature and silly with marion :) Miss Niccolo even who i thought at certain points in this year i might probably never want to talk to has become one of the more considerate people i know. I miss how I talked about everything in my life with Aye aye, she was in all my classes and we still just picked up like that the random conversational tangents. And Francesco, mann, the boy who has also been there since the beginning practically a brother the one who i could say anything to and everyone so matured and so moved on. Lilach from the army, what the hell u doing there Lilach :) a little more cynical maybe but at heart the same wise moral standpoint i clung on to for dear life when things got a little more rocky in life. Shyambo, we talked through these three monthes but its not the same, its that smile that goes with Sarahli and that nudge nudge at every sentence, i miss the good old Geneva sense of humor *sigh*.
After a good afternoon lolling around in my cousins' apartment, and watching part of another weird ass Kubrick movie, fluff myself up Sarah style (muy glitter et squeeze into those jeans u ain't got ur ass into since Summer) hop into car with cousin we shall hence forth be calling Stefan. Have a lovely heart to heart with him while noticing the curious amount of drempels in the country of Belgium.
Once at the abode of my uncle and aunt, giggle away like the little school girl that i am along with Tom and we totally make ourselves a lot more hyper than we should be for a scouts new years and a scouts prepared new years dinner. After Tom insists we shall not be fashionably late to a scouts party but be retardedly early, we gag him with a spoon throw him in the boot of the car and go there...fashionably early. The party is already *jumpin'* by the time we are there, and i am thrown into a room with 25 Flem scouts. It is a beautiful sight...all this youth intermingling with champagne glasses. They talk and i have no clue what their saying 95% of the time, but my dashing smile blinds them all into speaking english. Belgian ppl speaking english rocks. me speaking flemish is non existant :)
So we are seated at this long table and wait for food. EVERYONE smokes. not just cigarettes, but cigarillos and cigars. Tom decides that blowing cigar smoke in my hair is a funny thing. I sadly do not agree with this and accidentally hit his face a few times. There is a lot of cunning food throwing, playing with the candles and telling people that smoking is bad for them. I eat more than i should (!! i know) and add those extra 3 kilos to the resolutions list.
After that we all go back to the bar area and schmooze for a bit. We watch a bad countdown program on the telly and HAPPY NEW YEAR. then we haved to kiss everyone in the room; Everyone. And certain male scouts in the room kiss each other twice on the cheek and then once lightly on the lips, i find this weird. Then this one guy with heavy flem dialect asks me"soo what uur name lassiieee", me responding; "yEaaaahh".
*Soy uuun marinerooo, soooy un capitan*
SO, where was i? Oh yeah and the Tom gets bored. The eternal tom gets bored. So i decide to stay, because i've come here to get LAID :D (i'm kidding, honest, i am). So one of the scouts, kinda cute one really :), offers me a ride on his ...wait for it...moped, now this moped was like a super moped because it fit both his little ass and my massive one at the same time. 25 km an hour, helmetless, liscenceless down a pothole full coutry road at 2 in the morning Sarah realises " What the hell am i doing here". Admitedly i had gotten more tipsy along the night, had headbanged to Liquido for 3 minutes straight, i mean if that doesn't proove it what does :P The party was kinda lame and my semi drunken state all i wanted to do was kiss the dude. I did not do that because as they say in Lithuanian tradition *correct me if i'm wrong* whatever happens right at new years determines what the rest of the year will be like. I didn't want ti to be kissing 17 yr old scouts.
2. Geneva (tribute to those who were there)
A lot more lolling around, seeing people i honestly haven't seen for 3 monthes. It was scary how much i missed these people i had started to find too close for my comfort. Like the average Geneva group who went out every night in the Summer and the faces we'd all grown a little tired of seeing day after day, i was trying to suck in every last drop of their character facial expression and voice, because i miss my highschool friends so damn much. Even the most idiotic character in my life there, struck a special chord.
Seeing Yasi and having someone laugh over the same old stupid things i said was like aww. Seeing Bibi who i thought i had drifted away from a little was amazing because we suddenly had this crazy connection in sense of humor again. Seeing Marion who was my buddy through nearly yhe whole thing gave this odd chill because it was like woah man we've been through crazy much and you've stayed here while i'm in the US and i keep reminded myself the reasons why i left he familiar. Miss being really immature and silly with marion :) Miss Niccolo even who i thought at certain points in this year i might probably never want to talk to has become one of the more considerate people i know. I miss how I talked about everything in my life with Aye aye, she was in all my classes and we still just picked up like that the random conversational tangents. And Francesco, mann, the boy who has also been there since the beginning practically a brother the one who i could say anything to and everyone so matured and so moved on. Lilach from the army, what the hell u doing there Lilach :) a little more cynical maybe but at heart the same wise moral standpoint i clung on to for dear life when things got a little more rocky in life. Shyambo, we talked through these three monthes but its not the same, its that smile that goes with Sarahli and that nudge nudge at every sentence, i miss the good old Geneva sense of humor *sigh*.
2.1.05
Resolutions 2005
1. Find peace of mind
2. Be Healthy
3. Practise piano
4. Make American friends
5. See summer as opportunity and not as a continent thing
6. Have fun without throwing yourself at more than one person at a time
7. Learn that there is hope in nearly everything, sometimes time takes its time to move forwards
2. Be Healthy
3. Practise piano
4. Make American friends
5. See summer as opportunity and not as a continent thing
6. Have fun without throwing yourself at more than one person at a time
7. Learn that there is hope in nearly everything, sometimes time takes its time to move forwards
1.1.05
I've been delayed, I've been delayed
Yeah so its all screwed over now, world inside out and stuff like that. Don't have what i could get, sorta want what i can't get or shouldn't get. Its like i have it all wishy washy next to each other all in different states of fucked upness.
I'll never really be from one country, never have an essential identity, never can honestly tell someone where i'm from without giving them a 2 minute explanation. It sorta sucks being this exotic, it really does have its strings attached. I mean you can be patriotic for one thing but it'll never really be real. You can pick the country u like the most, but then u cant back out with its flaws and u have to ardently like it but with reason so that you can be credible to those dissing the country. You have to understand the ideology behind the choices it has made and finally you have to have a credible accent in it and have a normal conversation.
Man, was randomly placed in this odd situation where i didn't know anyone last night and everyone looked like they were one of the "beautiful people" all the boys with their oh so perfect,"oh i couldn't care less" shaggy haircuts and all the girls layered oh so appropriately with their hair wipped around 16 times screaming "mess me up some more honey". Yeah so they were all pretty and shit and we were standing outside the dancing bar place because it was so full and it was freezing. Amidst oogling all the pretty people i was just constantly thinking I NEED BED. So i mean no matter how much u wanna disapear behind a wall or watever to be able to breath amongst all these strangers, your basic needs like sleep still need to be fulfilled.
And then there were all those moments where you could have carpe diemed and you didn't again, but you realise afterwards that you really hadn't missed out o much when u hadn't so it really was all up to Skill and not blindly jumping into valleys.
You remember that gerbil that was running around in my head like a motherfucker?, well now hes also the messenger from hell carrying through thoughts which make more sence to the emotional within us, than mr and mrs rational.
Keeeel the gerbil Keel
I'll never really be from one country, never have an essential identity, never can honestly tell someone where i'm from without giving them a 2 minute explanation. It sorta sucks being this exotic, it really does have its strings attached. I mean you can be patriotic for one thing but it'll never really be real. You can pick the country u like the most, but then u cant back out with its flaws and u have to ardently like it but with reason so that you can be credible to those dissing the country. You have to understand the ideology behind the choices it has made and finally you have to have a credible accent in it and have a normal conversation.
Man, was randomly placed in this odd situation where i didn't know anyone last night and everyone looked like they were one of the "beautiful people" all the boys with their oh so perfect,"oh i couldn't care less" shaggy haircuts and all the girls layered oh so appropriately with their hair wipped around 16 times screaming "mess me up some more honey". Yeah so they were all pretty and shit and we were standing outside the dancing bar place because it was so full and it was freezing. Amidst oogling all the pretty people i was just constantly thinking I NEED BED. So i mean no matter how much u wanna disapear behind a wall or watever to be able to breath amongst all these strangers, your basic needs like sleep still need to be fulfilled.
And then there were all those moments where you could have carpe diemed and you didn't again, but you realise afterwards that you really hadn't missed out o much when u hadn't so it really was all up to Skill and not blindly jumping into valleys.
You remember that gerbil that was running around in my head like a motherfucker?, well now hes also the messenger from hell carrying through thoughts which make more sence to the emotional within us, than mr and mrs rational.
Keeeel the gerbil Keel
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)