And all i am is holding breath

Philosophy for the common peasant by Sarah
Just don't know what to do with my brain anymore. Place it in what mode? Force it to be in intelligent mode so often? Or in trivial daily stuff mode? I don't care. I don't want to know. Irrelevant feelings which i know will definitely be clearer in about 3 weeks.

Got my College housing form today. Choices of whether to be with someone, smoking or non smoking, someone who listens to polka or heavy metal, someone who brings their significant other to sleep over (and fuck?) , play music while studying, and whether to have a dorm with windows big enough to escape through incase madnes occurs from the polka/heavy metal study/fuck fest. hmmm decisions. Have i taken tetanepatitumonoclasiousinous vaccine? only 9 more to go before you are legally allowed to be shipped over to MA. But you have to be in solitary confinement for 73 hours prior to shipment in a sexy cardboard box and put together puzzle pieces of America. Northampton is a state?

Called England yesterday. fearing long unconquerable silences yet recieved more than bargained for. Can still not get over someone who actually is obsessed with the 80's. Its like having a fake leather spandex substitution fetish. Back to the Future *shiver*. I wonder if i'm easy to talk to, because i can be a really bad conversationalist. I guess it depends on what mood i am in. New people excite me so i guess thats what it was. I wonder whether superficiality will every be ovverruled by sense of humour and intelligence. I won't hatch my eggs before i've counted them.

Why does no one understand me? not in a deep, no one understands how deep my soul dwelves at times of beauty in a misunderstood world. No, just, when i speak i wish people would understand what i was saying. Is it because i jump the train of thought so often it just makes ones logic dizzy or is it because i'm too lazy to enunciate? I guess its better this way. Because if people knew everything i was saying there would be no more inside jokes with myself.

I am invincible

Strike me with your every tongue twisting brain curling wittisism and i will nay say you with my invincibility.

NAY SAY! NAY SAY!

I would say, you retard, but that would raise the whole issue of who was around to tell the first retard he was a retard??
Ok ok i won't be mean. I'll be realistic instead. WHO THE HELL HAS TIME TO THINK ABOUT CAMERAS WHEN I HAVE TO DO THE IB?!?!?!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH...
Now we welcome a brief interuption
Sarah's Left hand: Weeell Kirov, that looks like a pretty nice policy you have there
Sarah's Right hand: Oh you flatter me so Stalie dear. I thought u had a grudge upon my undying intelligence
LH: Well who wouldn't awe a man who could make my sexy policies look even sexier to the masses
RH: Why Sta Sta! you have me all wrong! i'm trying to help people out there *make it a better place for you and for me and the entire Commi Party, you say people are dying but if you care enough about living, make colliective farms a better place for youuu and for meeee*
LH: But...but Micheal Jackson isn't born for another errr 30 years
RH: Tough cookies, I like that song
LH: I thiiink i'm going to have to get one of my deviously secret henchmen to have to kill you for that
RH: HA! You'll never catch me
*as the right hand runs away as fast as he can, evidently not fast enough........*

The swedish minority in Finnland, romanian bartenders who want to be texan and a very un gay male flight attendant?

Yes, tonight was weird, or last night, or whatever. It involved the mingling of a lot of undecided testosterone. Don't get me wrong it was all very flattering, yet somehow still very very weird. Now for another fun filled list of Sarah's world.
The various types of male specimen in Genevavva (specimen just makes you feel you can like poke them with a stick or something :P)
1. Swedish minority in Finnland.
He tells you he is living in Belgium in german. He tells your lithuanian friend that she looks swedish. He tells you he likes meeting up with the other finns and swedish minorities of finnland, in Belgium, and this is what makes him feel really nationalistic (at like the 3rd degree of minority he is part of)
He thinks he is the hottest thing alive and his porn star smile is just slurring its words away at your ear, as you can feel his very breath humidify and liquify in your ear. I mean he might as well stick his tongue down your ear while he's at it.
Yes he is 35. He is one hot Nokia selling man. And his craziest bar trick involves a Lipton Tea bag and a long story about how you want to sell the Russians a rocket to go to the moon *aka the lipton tea bag on fIAR*. He likes that you are pretending to be lesbian, and yet, his come-back to that, even with all of his "attractive experience", seems like the most obvious thing you've heard all night; "Oh baby, can i join you and your friend? Actually, let me rephrase, i'd just like you, you're enough for me"
2. Romanian bartenders who want to be texan
He has watched Kangoroo Jack and likes to quote G'day Mate from it. He watches other random movies, with Nicholas Cage naming his cars "Eleanor". Bartender boi wants to name his guitar Eleanor. As he smokes his cigarrette in his non-chalante manner, he looks deep in the girls eyes and asks them if they want more ice in their drink. They batter their eyes and say no thanks, but ITS TOO LATE, the ice is in the drink. what satisfaction. He likes the american accent too, and does quite an amusing impression of the lonesome sheriff. He doesn't like being made fun of, and sadly everytime you make fun of him, all goes to hell and his perfect smile just flashes any whisper of sarcasm to the dust. He thinks you're a retard, yet your sexually related jokes make him giggle so he doesn't flick you off the whole time. Yeah, hes a manly man, classical guitar playin' non eyebrow pierced eastern European. He's been hit on by every second girl in the pub, and he's learnt how to be very ambiguous so as to keep them dreaming *4Eva*, while he dreams of his cowboy all american dream hes applied to since he was like 5.
3. Very un gay male flight attendant
By this i mean, quite the gay looking male, yet denying it at every inch. I like that in a man, the whole denying what you're presenting. Its like that second layeur of mystery. He knows you go to an INternational School, and take the IB just by looking at you. He has seen a lot of people and know how they act. By being a Flight Host he suddenly knows all of human psychology, its all like he thingks "yeah you're flicking off mr sweden in a certain way that shows you've gotten a higher degree of education". His self esteem isn't that high, yet he knows how to whip people's asses with it. He figures that i'm more intelligent than my friend, and the flattering never ends, yet how does he figure that out?
His Philosophy;
Two types of Pub goers,
1. Those who act all male and demand for the drink
2. Those who spill their breasts out over the counter in exchange of a drink
I'm sorry, but i have to agree, and since i'm neither, his logical reasoning got me there. He was like my the little man in my thumb, but like 1 m 80 and nodding at every "witty" and "intelligent" thing i said along the way. Quite the ego booster.
...and then there was sleep?

The Patience Pays off?...evidently not in the last 20 mins

And in the end, after not having thought about any 4 in the longest time, I realise, maybe pay back time will come after the trip to hell.
Coming back from hell with all its sights and sounds and Brouhaha (a word only learnt off of teletext subtitles), I realise its not going to be the last time I go there.
One doesn't truely acknowledge this realisation, because they're too busy getting high on all of the commotion on the way back up.

Then there were friends who got it on with the past and with Norway? Not really jealous, maybe more of an undecided agreement (if that can happen).

I think some people forget what sex i am through the internet. Its not that i speak so manly, i just get into conversations where sexually, i end up being neutral? Maybe its because i truely am a lesbian, but my not realising it, cancels the first thought out. Guys don't mind lesbians because they have like a last glint of hope sparking inside of them, that somehow, a lesbian can be converted into liking the male body. The male body isn't all that great i must sadly admit. It does have it's fortés though... the regular features, eyes, lips, hands etc but also feet can be quite nice, and thighs, with that right proportion of muscle, or a back...but only if long enough. God i'm picky, and frustrated obviously. *sigh* one day i'll fly away to reality's world.

The internet will not save you from going mad. It will only implement the parasite.

When you know what you want, the wish comes true.

*You know all those jokes and movies revolving around someone making a wish, but not being specific enough and having the genie or fairy godmother whip their asses with the inevitablitiy of their poor choice of wish? I'm happy for you.

*Now what we really want to talk about is 70's porn storylines . You know a random stranger is someone normal when they are at ease with talking about 70's porn.


*Back to the wishes, when you wish for something vague, yet very specific in your mind, then the wish will come true. You also have to not expect it, as we've all learnt looooong ago.

*I also learnt, that when around the right people, with the right degree of trust, you can make ANYONE do the goggle thing with their fingers, jump up and down on one foot and say MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEEP continually. That is the true experience. Because only with those experiences can you look like a total weirdo on the bus when you're thinking back to the MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEEP and start laughing alone.
(hee)

*Meeting new people is like yet another trip down psychology road. It makes my every brainbud quiver. WHatever just happened there. Its like trying out all your old tricks on some new entity who most likely is going to give you a weird look. With enough persistance though, you can make them turn to the lighter side :).