I've been delayed, I've been delayed

Yeah so its all screwed over now, world inside out and stuff like that. Don't have what i could get, sorta want what i can't get or shouldn't get. Its like i have it all wishy washy next to each other all in different states of fucked upness.
I'll never really be from one country, never have an essential identity, never can honestly tell someone where i'm from without giving them a 2 minute explanation. It sorta sucks being this exotic, it really does have its strings attached. I mean you can be patriotic for one thing but it'll never really be real. You can pick the country u like the most, but then u cant back out with its flaws and u have to ardently like it but with reason so that you can be credible to those dissing the country. You have to understand the ideology behind the choices it has made and finally you have to have a credible accent in it and have a normal conversation.
Man, was randomly placed in this odd situation where i didn't know anyone last night and everyone looked like they were one of the "beautiful people" all the boys with their oh so perfect,"oh i couldn't care less" shaggy haircuts and all the girls layered oh so appropriately with their hair wipped around 16 times screaming "mess me up some more honey". Yeah so they were all pretty and shit and we were standing outside the dancing bar place because it was so full and it was freezing. Amidst oogling all the pretty people i was just constantly thinking I NEED BED. So i mean no matter how much u wanna disapear behind a wall or watever to be able to breath amongst all these strangers, your basic needs like sleep still need to be fulfilled.
And then there were all those moments where you could have carpe diemed and you didn't again, but you realise afterwards that you really hadn't missed out o much when u hadn't so it really was all up to Skill and not blindly jumping into valleys.
You remember that gerbil that was running around in my head like a motherfucker?, well now hes also the messenger from hell carrying through thoughts which make more sence to the emotional within us, than mr and mrs rational.
Keeeel the gerbil Keel