"Grand Unified Theory of All Men and all the Little things we do that make us oh so Special" by Sera*

What is it with our obsession to understand people? I mean people are such ambigious, essences of matter, that there will always be a lovely excuse of an exception that will Conveniently (i love that word, its my life personified in a single word) shoot out of any newly figured out "Grand Theory of the Behaviour of all Men". Especially teenagers. My speciality. Deal with some pretty fucked up ones in my day. Namely Moi.*~*
**You're walking down the street and you suddenly see this guy. He is amazingly good looking, everything you physically want in a Mr Perfect. You pass him by and are reminded of what a bad mistake you made wearing green shoes with ur blue pants. Who the hell cares? He definitely doesn't. He's probably getting a boner from looking at a stick on the ground, more than anything else. Why do you care? Because you're insecure. No matter how secure you've become over the last couple of years, there'll still be enough insecurity to last you for the rest of your life. Not me, I'm tough shit i could take you on anyday . No, fellow teenagers, even if ur inner monologe decides to talk back and challenge you to a a ghetto-wannabe dual, you'll still always feel insecure around other people. Thats the thing isn't it, other people. I'm sure all alone we'd do quite fine; no societies' pressure to hammer us down at our weakest..Moral: Insecurity will never result into lonliness
**You're walking down the street and you suddenly see this guy. He is amazingly good looking, everything you physically want in a Mr Perfect. You tap him on the shoulder and say "Sorry, i don't have a watch, could you please tell me what time it is?". You scratch your head to emphasize the need to know the time. Your watch peeks out from under your jacket. Mr Perfect looks at you a little incredilously. 1:45 PM. Now why did you not just go up to him and say he looked fiiine?
Typical female answer: Because I'm not male.
Typical Male answer: Because I'm not gay.
Well that got rid of some people, we're still stuck with the outgoing people. Damn them. They should all just go be all outgoing and bubbly in a room together. And stay there. I mean they're the kind of people who make our days better and create conversations. Damn them for making this a social world. Moral: Outgoing is only good if you're a gay male
**You're walking down the street and you suddenly see this guy. He is amazingly good looking, everything you physically want in a Mr Perfect. You strutt by. You notice he's looking at a stick on the ground. This makes you very horny. You reach your hand out and when the contact comes, you sqeeze his ass. He sharply inhales, yet you strutt cooly past and turn the corner (thank god for the corner, or you'd have been ass raped) I mean, your black transparent shirt starts to feel too hot for you and you throw it off on the ground. Mr Perfect gently rubs your supple breasts. Now,children, why is this never going to happen? Well observing the usual state of reality, and comparing it with some more reality, I think they're acting out on normal human horny instincts. So again why does this never happen? Because humans are wussies. Dare i even mention the moral....