Its Been a While

Sorry dear compassionately frequent readers, lol all two of you, for not having written recently. Time takes too much time as they say.

Now that my room mate has gone for autumn break, i find myself talking to myself. Saying all those nitty gritty things that i wasn't allowed to say when i was in the room with someone else. Its amazing how quiet it really gets when you're on your own. When i was alone in the apartment i needed to compulsively have the TV on, the radio on in the kitchen, music on my computer and i needed to have a full blown conversation either with myself, my cat or mr spatula.

The other day, Thursday i will call it, i was walking into the little town of Northampton to return a dvd. Only like 2 dollars here for a movie, its quite blissful and i end up renting a lot of them. Anyways so i decide not to take my discman and am confronted with the harshness of the REAL WORLD. So i'm walking down the path outside of Smith campus, past the grocers and the pharmacy and its quite dark. My mind is allowed to wander but at the expense at which my mind is essentially open to the world because i don't have music faking i can't hear or see anything. I walk up the hill past this small church, some spanish one and then get onto the main street. Its already 7 o'clock, at this time on a normal day in Geneva the wind would be howling through Rive and nothing would be there. Maybe a tram or two but nothing else would dare be there. When i started to realise how i'd grown up with quietness, essentially when it was dark, the buzz of a town awake with music and people and SUVs started to disconcert me. I felt like i was in Disneyland all of a sudden. Northampton you see, nothing goes wrong, small little shops of hippy nothingness, kids who've gone all rebelious on hippyland dressed as hardcore goths sit on the side of the road, everyone has their place, but everyone is outside and doing stuff. Nothing wrong really but it just doesn't feel right. I start to feel claustrophic with all the lights and the sounds filling the usually quiet darkness. I walk very quickliy to the movie rental place and drop my dvd off wispering thank you and get back to my room as quickly possible. In a world of no cruelty, something bothersome has to be sought after?