beyond tears

i want to cry and cry and cry.
no one here who isn't either fucked up or in zombie mode due to work.
I need a spirit free of sadness or routine to cradle me in their arms for just 10 mins. Its all I ask. Just to reinvigorate me and give me courage for the next couple of day.I need Ted so badly, I need to live life again, not trudge through this shit. And this shit makes sense when i can think. I can't think. Sleep would help too. I guess. how days get longer when you think about them more. how tedious beaurocracy tightens the clamp around the brain. how that flight home should relieve all but is only a slight release from this hell. I'm not happy here. I need to breathe. I need space. Quiet. When you lack sleep. The thing you need is sleep. If sound and people and life hinder this acquisition of sanity, the stress makes you sick and makes you want to cry. I don't like that. And there is so much i can and will do about it.