Wanted

A male with deep mysterious eyebrows. A-la Ben Chaplin or Joaquim Phoenix.
Male with enough connaissance to fake it well.
Male not evolving from monkey species.
Preferabbly chicken clone.
Something along the lines of "I saw you in that bus the other day, the very sight of you made me imagine us in an other world at a different time as if our souls intertwined, thought i might follow you in a non-stalkerish unsuspecting way, and steal a kiss from you, with me ofcourse knowing that you find me over-desirably attractive"
Conceited bastard. Even what i would want sounds like such bullcrap.